


The Wedding Crasher

by Ruuger



Series: Episode tags for The Mentalist [13]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, Post-Episode: s07e13 White Orchids, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuger/pseuds/Ruuger
Summary: The morning after their wedding, Lisbon and Jane get a visitor.





	The Wedding Crasher

Jane woke up to the sound of birds singing and the warmth of sunlight on his face. He basked in the pleasantness of the moment for a few seconds before opening his eyes.

He regretted it immediately. 

The bright light was like a lightning bolt through his brain, and he had to close his eyes, certain that if he didn't, his head would explode. Following on the trail of the headache, soon came the sensations of a stiff neck and a mild nausea. Just thinking about moving made his every joint and muscle scream in protest.

Spending their wedding night in sleeping bags at the cabin had sounded very romantic when he'd suggested it, but in hindsight it probably hadn't been the brightest and most thought-out idea he'd ever had. Especially since they'd both crashed about five minutes after the last guest had left, too tired - and in his case also too drunk - to manage anything more than a quick kiss before falling asleep. 

"Hey."

He chanced to open his eyes again to find Lisbon watching him. She was lying on her side, leaning to her elbow as she studied him.

"Hey."

She looked much better than he felt, almost annoyingly hangover free, and it took him a few seconds to remember that she hadn't been drinking, and more specifically _why_ she hadn't been drinking. Just the thought of it took his breath away. To be a father again was something he hadn't dared to imagine even in his wildest dreams.

Lisbon reached out and brushed her hand through his hair.

"You look happy," she said.

"That's because I am." 

She leaned forward to kiss him, before rolling over and standing up. She grabbed his dress shirt, wrapping it around herself, and headed towards the door.

"Where're you going?" 

"To the airstream to use the bathroom." She paused with her hand on the door handle, and turned to look at him. "And by the way, an indoor bathroom?" She shook her head. "Not optional."

Still smiling, Jane rolled over on his back and closed his eyes again. He was almost on the edge of falling back asleep when he heard Lisbon calling from outside: 

"Jane, could you come out here."

Jane rubbed his face and carefully stood up. His pants were in a pile next to the sleeping bags, and he quickly pulled them on before following Lisbon outside. 

He found her standing on the porch, staring at the airstream with her arms wrapped around herself. Jane walked over to her, and then stopped. 

There was a helicopter in front of the house. Jane blinked a few times to make sure he hadn't just imagined it. 

"There's a helicopter in front of the house," he said.

Lisbon turned to look at him and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I can see there's a helicopter in front of the house. Why is it there?"

"Maybe it got lost?" He was still too sleepy and too hungover to manage anything more complex. 

She shoved him in the ribs with her elbow. "Seriously, Jane, do you have anything to do with it?"

He frowned, rubbing his side. "No. Why would I put a helicopter in front of our house?"

Staring at the helicopter, Jane began to feel the first pangs of worry gnawing at him at the back of his mind. Even after all these years, he couldn't quite silence the little voice at the back of his head whispering: _What if it's Red John?_ He took a step back, torn between wanting to do anything at his power to protect Lisbon and wanting to hide behind her.

He took her hand. "Maybe we should-"

"Patrick! Teresa!" 

Jane was interrupted by Walter Mashburn's booming voice as he appeared from behind the helicopter, holding a large champagne bottle in one hand and three glasses in another.

Lisbon frowned. "Walter?" She said, and then looked down, suddenly remembering that she was wearing only Jane's shirt. She wrapped the shirt tighter around herself, trying to pull the hem lower to cover herself up better.

Mashburn waved his hand dismissively. "No need to bother on my account," he said, and then winked. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

Jane found himself wondering if he was now expected to defend Lisbon's honor in situations like this, but came to the conclusion that if Lisbon wanted someone to punch Mashburn, she'd just do it herself.

When Mashburn finally reached the cabin, he handed Jane and Lisbon two of the glasses, and set the third one of the porch. 

"I heard a rumour that the two of you were getting married," he said as he tore the foil off the bottle top. "I have to admit that I did feel somewhat hurt that I did not receive an invitation."

"It was a bit sudden," said, Lisbon. "We didn't think you'd come at such short notice."

Mashburn pressed his thumbs against the cork and popped the bottle open. "Always the diplomat, Teresa," he said, and started filling Jane's glass, followed by his own.

When he turned to Lisbon, she covered her glass with her hand.

"No thank you," she said, and then quickly added: "It's too early for champagne."

Mashburn looked from Lisbon to Jane, and then grinned. 

" _Well, well_ , I see another set of congratulations is in order." He set Lisbon's glass down on the ground, and then raised his own. "If it's a boy, Walter is a very respectable name. To your health." He emptied his glass with a single draught, and then glanced ath his watch. "I have to rush. I'm on my way to New York, and just wanted to drop by on the way to wish you two the best of luck."

He leaned over to kiss Lisbon's cheek, and then shook Jane's hand before heading back to his helicopter. 

When he reached it, he turned around and shouted: "Oh, and if you ever feel like you want to spice up your marriage a bit..." He winked. "You have my number." 

Mashburn hopped into the helicopter, which immediately took off and rose to the sky. 

Once it was gone from sight, Jane turned to look at Lisbon. "Did he just...?"

"I think he did."

"We are going to say no, right?"

"Yes, no. Definitely no."

She groaned, and and headed towards the airstream. "But if the tank for the shower is empty again, I might consider moving in with him."


End file.
